Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Roger Kwok: I Don't Have Hopes for Son to Success in Life

My wife Cindy Au and I tied the knot in 2006, and had our first child, Brad Kwok in 2008. In 2011, we went for another girl, Blair Kwok. I became a father at age 43, and within my plans of having children, I do have worries of when I'm old, there may be a generation gap between my children and I. My parents were already gone (passed away) when I got married and never got to witness my marriage, I feel some regret. Now that I'm a parent myself and have such a large generation gap with my children, I would think when they get married in the future, will I still be around? If my son gets married late, I really can't live for another 40 years!

I have 5 brothers and 3 sisters, since youth my father was out making a living and my mother was a housewife. My elder brothers and sisters took care of me the most, so I lacked childhood education that I could use as a model for my children. I have to create my own model on educating my children. I'm not really an autocratic, I don't think everything needs to be distinguished between black and white. To act according to convention can actually create the generation gap. I see my children as friends, parents should not be strict, I advocate for no social class.

After my oldest son Brad was born, my life changed a lot. At first, I was really scared! Before he was born, I was already mentally prepared, but in reality, everything differed tremendously from what I had expected. It was then, I truly felt that I had stepped into another stage in life! I thought I could face it with ease, but turns out that I couldn't do it! My deepest memory was when Brad was around 7 or 8 months old, one night he had a high fever, my wife and I were so freaked out we didn't know what to do. He was crying nonstop and didn't know how to talk, so we quickly sent him to the hospital. At the time, I was thinking a baby that young, why does he have to suffer such torment? He also had nose allergies, one time his eyes were swollen as big as chicken eggs. I could feel he was really scared himself. Fortunately my wife and I are both Christians, and believe that parents shouldn't be the ones to blame for their children falling ill. We mutually encouraged one another to leave our son with God.

I changed diapers and gave them baths. In the future, when they get married, I have handy pictures to prove that their parents have contributed for them. They must continue the tradition and treat their children the same way. I don't long for my children to succeed in life, just hope they grow up healthy. We didn't choose a famous school for them to go to nor is it necessary to move homes to accommodate them. The kindergarten had about 2,000 children registering, and during the interview, my son cleverly gave the teacher a kiss. Brad is very cute, and really displays the true side of a child. On the first day of school, he was crying like the world was ending, but on the second day, he didn't cry at all and went into the classroom himself. Then on the third day, he was crying again, but it turns out he thought he only had to go to school for two days!

I have had quarrels with my wife because of our children, but the most important is that when we both calmed down, we were able to resolve the issues. I often take Brad to school and pick him up myself, hoping to spend as much time as I can with him through his growth. I don't want him to be a Hong Kong child! He's very clever now, he knows how to put on his own shirt, pants and socks. I accompany him in and out because I'm afraid he may rely too much on the domestic worker, I want to train him to do things himself. Earlier there were kidnapper rumors which had troubled me, but luckily, the reason was possibly due to a misunderstanding in a family dispute and it's not considered a societal issue! [Before] I was so worried I couldn't sleep, I stayed up late at night to read what people are saying online. We were very worried, but I didn't tell my son about the kidnapper, I don't want him to know there are so many bad people in the world.


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